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06 aprile Avery's FuneralAvery's funeral will be on Saturday, April 8, 2006 at 12:00 noon at Families First Funeral Home and Tribute Centre. The address is 3260 Dougall Avenue and the phone number is 519-969-5841. Avery looks forward to seeing you all there.
04 aprile Avery: March 17th, 2006 - April 3rd, 2006Avery passed away last night. She was 17 days old. She was so strong, but we asked too much of her. I know she is happier now. She looked so absolutely beautiful and so peaceful when they brought her to me to hold her. I never wanted to give her back. I kept her for so long. It was so great to see her face without her tubes. She is not suffering anymore. I thought it might be strange to hold her when she was gone, but it felt so amazing. I don't know if someone's heart can break more than this, but somehow I can be happy, because I know that Avery is now. She really is our Angel Avery.
I will let you know when funeral arrangements have been made. Thank you everyone for following our journey.
03 aprile April 3, 2006I know everyone has been waiting for an update. I can write now because a procedure is going on in Avery's room and I have been kicked out for an hour. This at a time when all I want to do is spend time with my daughter. Friday night Avery seemed to be doing a bit better. She kept having instances of desaturations, but that was nothing new. However, the doctors began talking more and more about ECMO, so that if Avery had to be put on it, it wouldn't be in an emergency situation. In the last 7 years, only 4 CDH babies have had to go on ECMO here...so talking about it meant that things were starting to get serious.
Unfortunately, Saturday morning as I was getting out of the shower, the hospital called. Avery was being put on ECMO and it was an emergency. Although I was terrified, I was not prepared for what happened when we got to the hospital. We were told to call people from Windsor and tell them to come. My dad flew in, and my Nana came from Florida. Senior cardiac surgeons were working on Avery, but were unable to get the cannulas into her neck. They had to open her sternum and place them directly into her heart. Avery suffered cardiac arrest and was without adequate oxygen for over an hour. Three to five minutes is too long normally. The doctor told us that Avery has brain damage. They do not know yet how much. He told us that it is unlikely that she will live. I can't even begin to describe how my heart broke when I heard that. I never, ever though I could know so much pain.
When I was brought in to see Avery she was hooked up to the giant ECMO machine. There was gauze over her chest labelled 'open sternum.' Blood was leaking from her neck and chest because of the heparin they have to give to avoid clots in the ECMO circuit. We were told that if Avery does have a bleed in her brain, being on EMCO would make it worse because of the blood thinners. So it is a catch 22 situation, since she would not live without the machine.
Avery had a head ultrasound done, which showed nothing conclusive. What she really needs is an MRI, but being on ECMO she can't have one. However, the ultrasound did show areas of concern around the thalamus. Today or tomorrow, she is having more tests to try and assess her brain function and the firing of neurons. I can't remember what the tests are called. She will also have another head ultrasound.
We were told that ECMO meant things were bad enough, but Avery's brain is the biggest concern now. The doctors are not hopeful and I think we will have to make a decision soon. I don't know how I will ever, ever be able to do that. She looks so perfect from the outside. I mean, I know she has tubes in her nose and mouth, IVs in her leg, arm, hand, head and a giant machine with two large tubes coming out of her heart, and a chest tube. But to me she is so, so beautiful. The doctors do not think that even if Avery can come off ECMO that she will have any quality of life. My heart is breaking. Please keep praying for us. I know that some children are very risiliant. Avery has been so strong so far and I feel like it's horrible of me to ask so much from this beautiful little person. She doesn't deserve any of this, and I hope to God that she doesn't know what's going on. Her eyes are open today because they have taken her off of the paralysers and decreased her morphine to assess her neurological function. It's so much harder to see her with her eyes open because I feel like she knows what is going on. I know she doesn't though. She is just staring blankly and her pupils don't react to light. She moves her eyes back and forth, but the doctors say that it is probably just reflexes. I am just waiting now, to see the results of these neurological tests. Sometimes babies will surprise us. Let's hope that Avery is one of them. She is so strong.
30 marzo Avery's First Haircut - March 30, 2006Avery got her first haircut today. I cried when we got to the hospital this morning and the nurse handed me a little specimen container with locks of her hair. As you can see in the pictures, she has barely any hair on top, but on the sides and in the back, it is really long! Well anyway, the doctors had to put an IV in her head because they couldn't get a line anywhere else since she is so swollen. So they had to shave off part of her hair on the side. It was a little emotional for me, lol...but I guess in the grand scheme of things, that's the least of our worries.
Avery had a relatively quiet day today, which was good. There was only one incident where her SATS dropped she recovered from it pretty well. She is still on 90% oxygen and a high mean airway pressure of 20, but we are pretty proud of how tough she's been today. Everyone pretty much left her alone until 7pm tonight when they decided to tap her chest and drain some fluid. You should see how much fluid they got out of it! It's actually pretty gross, but the hope is that this will relieve some of the pressure on her lungs and therefore her right ventiricle will stop failing.
Avery was blessed today by the hospital chaplain. That was really emotional. I am so glad he did that for us. I think that really helped to get her through the drain. She tolerated it really well. Tonight my mom and I met our new roomates. It seems like we always have someone new around. Her baby is 3 months old and she has already had 2 open heart surgeries. She, like everyone else we have met, was so nice! It's really amazing how all of the parents at the hospital relate to one another. Everyone has different problems, but at the same time, everyone understands what the other is going through. We were discussing the amazing staff and this lady said something so true. She said that while our children will never remember what is happening to them right now, we as parents will never, ever forget it. So it's great that the staff really includes you and respects you. It's a positive in this situation.
I am really sorry that I haven't had a chance to respond to everyone's emails personally. I am hoping that by trying to keep my blog updated that you are all getting most of the information I have. I really can't wait until I can see everyone, talk to everyone or even just respond to an email again! But right now my focus is on Avery...and the nurses are right...she is a little diva who requires a ton of attention! So please try and forgive me! Anyway, we are praying for a quiet night tonight, and maybe tomorrow we can start weaning some of Avery's numbers down a bit. That would be a great 2 week birthday present!
29 marzo March 29, 2006Avery has had a very rough last couple of days. She keeps having episodes where all of her SATS go down and it takes her a while to recover from that. Although today she seemed to hold her own, she continues to be on maximum support from the oscillator. She is on 100% oxygen, her mean airway pressure is at 18 (they would like this to be below 16,) she is at 20 for her nitric oxide (we need to eliminate this...when she was born it was only at 10,) and she is still requiring the pavilon (basically a paralyser) and fentynol before anyone touches her.
Avery didn't have any major episodes today until about 5:00pm. This is good because she was actually put through a great deal today. She had her morning xray done. She had an echocardiogram done in the morning, because the doctors needed to confirm that the duct that I discussed before, was still closed. They now want it open, because she has a slight dysfunction of her right ventricle. It is having to work too hard because of the pulmonary hypertension, so they wanted to see if they could reopen it in order to let the blood flow from the right to the left and bypass the lungs through it. I would act as a shunt if it was open. It was still closed. So they gave Avery prostaglandin to try and open it. She had a repeat echo and that showed that the duct had slightly opened, but her numbers had not improved. So now they are talking about giving her some epinephrine to kind of kick start her heart, however that has side effects pertaining to blood pressure lowering, which Avery already has a problem with. There is another drug that they can give her too, but that one has a long half life, so if it doesn't agree with her, then it can take a while to get out of her system. Today they also did an ultrasound of Avery's right leg since it is still really cold and very swollen. They want to rule out a blood clot, although she is still on heparin so that's probably not the reason for it. She also had a new central line put in today and a new IV in her hand put in. The nurse started to feed Avery my breast milk today too, which at first she was digesting well, but by 6:00pm it started coming back up. So all in all, one major incident wasn't bad for the type of day that Avery had. We were told that Avery was going to be allowed to rest all day tomorrow and noone would bug her. But...plans change.
So now, first thing in the morning Avery will have her xrays again, then they want to do an ultrasound of her chest. They want to see how much fluid is around her lungs now because there is so much space up there now. If there is a ton, which they suspect there is, then they will 'tap' her to try and drain some of it off. This has complications as well. If it doesn't work, then we have to start talking about ECMO. The talk about that started today and that just threw me over the edge a bit. I am so terrified now. I know a lot of babies go on it and come off of it, but I am still really, really scared. There is another baby in our room with CDH but a less severe case. He had surgery 2 days ago and was extubated today! I am so happy for his family, but at the same time it's not fair. I wish Avery would get better too. She is only 12 days old and has been a fighter so far...so I know she'll make it through all of this. I just feel horrible that she has to be put through it. She didn't get to go outside on this beautiful day. She probably thinks life on the outside is so rough. I keep telling her that life gets easier. I know I'm not lying to her! So now we wait and see what tomorrow brings.
28 marzo A Rough Night - March 28, 2006Last night we had a pretty rough night with Avery. She seemed to be doing ok all day. The doctors took her off of her muscle relaxers early in the day, and the nurse thought that it was probably not the best idea to do that. She didn't think Avery was able to be handled yet without them and she really seems to know her stuff. She had been with us for the last three days. Well it turns out she was right. At about 6pm, Avery was just starting to wake up from her muscle relaxers since it takes a while for the effects to wear off. She began to open her eyes, which was great, but then all of her SATS (oxygen saturation) began to drop. I just watched the screen as the numbers went from 93 to 92 to 87, all the way to 79. Suddenly a bunch of people ran in, they tried to bag her...they stat called the respitory therapist...they even brought in the crash cart. That was what really did me in I think. Thank God they didn't have to use it, but it was absolutely horrible to watch. It took about 2 hours before Avery was stabalized again, but now she is back up to 90% oxygen. So needless to say, we didn't make it back for my mom's birthday dinner until after 9pm. I called a couple of times during the night to check on Avery and as of 5am she is still stable. Obviously she was put back on the muscle relaxers, so we will see how today goes.
In other news, Catherine is still 3 weeks from delivering, but her doctor thinks it could be any day, so wish her luck! Kimberly's son Jackson is still doing well on ECMO and Jenn has some more appointments and likes her new doctor better which makes a huge difference. I am very happy that we chose to come to Toronto with Avery. I really feel like everyone is on top of things here and that we are getting the best care. Our new roomate is a CDH baby too, and he went for surgery last night, so also please keep him in your thoughts. Grace is going to try to come off ECMO today or tomorrow at the latest and so she really needs your prayers right now. Lol, I think that's everyone for now! I know there are many more...we have met so many nice people!
Oh, and my mom took a picture the second Avery was born on our disposable camera that we just got developed. It's a little graphic so I didn't post it, but if anyone wants to see it I can email it to you. It's awesome! Yesterday I was on hold with various offices for the majority of the day. Who knew there was so much paper work that went along with having a child, lol? All of these politics are not what I really feel like worrying about right now, but I guess things have to be taken care off. Ok, now I'm complaining, sorry! Well, off to the hospital again...hopefully today I will have better news! Miss you all!
27 marzo March 27, 2006I'm just writing a really quick update but really there is no new news today. I have been sleeping on a couch in the hospital for the last few days, that's why I haven't written anything. The computer center in the hospital is closed on the weekends. For the good news, Avery finally met her Grammy and her dad came to visit her. For the bad news, things keep changing every hour. One minute things seem ok, then the next minute, all of her oxygen saturations, blood pressure, etc. drop. Sometimes it seems to correspond with the doctors suctioning her. She absolutely hates that! And sometimes, it seems to be for no reason at all. The nurses are all calling Avery a little diva because she's so high-maintenance! So anyway, back and forth right now. She's on lasix for her puffiness...she is huge right now! They had to give Avery blood yesterday, she is also on a lot more morphine, fentynol and muscle relaxers. So anyway, hopefully I'll have a more positive update soon!
PS. It is Nana's (my mom) birthday today! Let's hope we all have a great day! 25 marzo Our Rollercoaster Ride - March 25, 2006I guess I will start with the good news first. Yesterday I got to hold Avery for the first time! It was amazing. Even though it was only for 2 minutes and I pretty much just held her up...there were too many tubes to hold her close to me, it was awesome. I also got to give her a sponge bath. Avery's surgery went really well. She went in at about 2pm yesterday, March 24th, 2006. She was 7 days old. What they could tell was that her left lung is just a little bud. Dr. Langer moved her stomach down. Her small and large intestines, her spleen and the left lobe of her liver (which we did not think was up, but it was) were moved down also. Her appendix was in the wrong spot, so the surgeon took that out too. I guess we don't really need it, and now we won't have to worry about Avery having appendicitis one day! The hole was quite a big defect, so instead of being able to sew it up, Dr. Langer had to use a pig-skin patch. This should hopefully grow with Avery and prevent a recurrance. Also, he constructed a valve at the bottom of Avery's esophagus that will hopefully help prevent some reflux as she grows. Dr. Langer joked that since he did everything else to Avery, he gave her a haircut too while he was at it. Before Avery went to surgery, she was receiving 45% oxygen on the conventional ventilator. Room oxygen is 21%, so the closer we can get to that number, the better.
Now for the bad news. Avery's oxygen was at 55% after surgery and she was on the conventional ventilator again, which was great. However, I guess that was just the 'honeymoon' period. We were told to expect ups and downs. So last night around 4am, Avery had a pulmonary hypertensive crisis. Basically there is way too much pressure in her lungs. This may be because everything has been moved back down to her abdomen, including her liver which is quite big. Because her stomach is smaller than normal, it is very tight and the organs are now pushing up on her lungs. I figured this was better than having them up in her chest, but that is what her body was used to, so now it has to make the adjustments. Avery's feet are like ice right now. At first the doctors were worried about her circulation because the blood pressure in her upper right quadrant was very high while in the other three quadrants it was very low. They were concerned that blood was not flowing properly through her aorta and that it may be too narrow. A repeat echocardiogram again showed no defects in her heart, but her limbs are not warming up so they are watching that very closely right now. Hopefully it is just that her body knows it needs to get blood to her vital organs like the ones that just underwent surgery and her brain, and it is thinking 'well screw the feet right now.' So we will see what happens through the day. Things seem to be hour by hour here, not day by day. The doctors are doing an ultrasound too, this afternoon, just to look over things in her belly. She is now back on the highest pressure oscillator again, and her oxygen had been put up to 100% again so she could rest. It has since been lowered a bit, to 75% so we are hoping that they will continue to lower it throughout the day as she restabalizes. She is also back on the nitric oxide, ativan, more pain medication, etc. I looked at her xrays from before and after surgery and the difference is amazing. It's sad to see what they say is her left lung though...it is so small. The right lung is a bit more visable in the after xrays. It was covered by her heart before. Although Avery's heart has moved a bit, the doctors say that it will probably continue to hang out in the middle or on the right for a bit longer, but eventually through life, it should find it's way back. Her right lung is still very small as well. Her skin is very, very dry as well. It's like when you go on vacation and you come home and start peeling really bad. The nurse today told us today that we can get baby lotion and put it on Avery in the areas that aren't covered by tubes and tape. I put new pictures up of me holding Avery and of her now, after surgery and puffy from all of the extra fluid that she was given. You can also see her scar from surgery although it is covered by steri-strips right now. So we are waiting again, and hoping that tomorrow goes better than today.
On another note, our old neighbours need your thoughts right now big time. Their daughter has been on ECMO for almost 3 weeks. Yesterday they tried to take her off of it for the third time and it did not go well. They will try again on Monday. Wednesday is their 3 weeks, and I guess that is as long as they will keep a baby on ECMO. Where they go from there, I am not sure. But obviously right now is a very, very scary time for them, and it will be an extremely stressful weekend. So please say a prayer for them too. Jenn, who is waiting for Audrey's arrival had no news news, so that is good news. Catherine is still waiting for Sofia, and there isn't much time left! She has been amazing about calling and checking in like so many of you have been! And Jackson is alert with his eyes open and they will be trying to get him off ECMO again tomorrow too. Let's hope that it goes well for him, as he is on day 18! I'm not sure how long in the States that they will keep a baby on ECMO.
We have been getting into a little trouble with the nurses for having too many visitors, so although we appreciate SO much all of the support that people have been giving us, now is not a good time for Avery to have visitors. My Uncle Jim almost wasn't allowed in, and he is a doctor. I guess what is a little cold to us, or one that we may not even know we have until days later, can be very bad for a sick baby. Especially since Avery just had surgery and has open wounds and lines and tubes in her, she is much more vulnerable to infection. Hopefully, she will be able to meet more of you as she recovers, but for right now, they are being pretty strict with her.
I don't know if any of you got a chance to read the comment section under 'Surgery on Friday,' but that poem that my cousin Marci wrote that made me bawl, she wrote all by herself! I think it is amazing. My mom thinks that she and Aunt Mary-Lynn are in competition to see who can make us cry more. Even Wes (we know how guys are) wrote something so nice! You guys are so amazing, thank you so much! So I know this update has been long. I hope I don't have to write quite so much next time. Like in Jenn's case, no news is good news, right? Talk to everyone soon.
23 marzo Surgery on Friday - March 22, 2006Well surgery has been planned for Friday, March 24th! I am glad we have the extra day to prepare ourselves. Dr. Langer will be doing her surgery around noon. He was planning on doing it laproscopically (lasers I think) but changed his mind after Avery was born because apparently she was soo unstable at birth. We didn't really know that until yesterday. I don't know if they wanted to shield us or what, but all of the sudden yesterday the nurses and doctors kind of made it known to us just how 'rough' of a start Avery actually had. So again, I don't know if I feel better not having known, or worse. But she is stabalized now and that is all that matters. So they will be doing the traditional surgery with a cut across her belly because it will give them more control. Dr. Langer thought we would be worried about the big scar, but really that is the very least of our worries. It will be like her badge of honour anyway. It'll give Avery something to brag about that she lived through! Our roomate friends told us that they waited 7 hours before anyone came out to talk to them about their daughter's surgery, so I am anticipating a pretty long day on Friday. We plan to sleep at the hospital that night, whether we can get a parent room or sleep on the couch.
So Avery had a pretty rough day herself today. She seems to be older and wiser now and is not too happy with what is happening to her. She was very fiesty today, trying to pull out her tubes, so they had to put restraints on her! It broke my heart to see her trying to cry and trying to move her hans but not be able to. It went on like that for the majority of the day. Her lips were so pouty! Even the doctors and nurses were commenting on how pouty and sad her little lips looked. But they say they are beautiful lips and that she's really cute! Sorry, I had to mom brag for a minute. She was being poked and proded a lot too, and she was so upset by it. I can't even take my cat to the vet without crying, so it was really hard to see my daughter so upset. I also felt horrible today too, so that made it worse. Everything from the top of my head (migraine-haven't had one for 9 months, but they're back!) to the tip of my toes (hurts to sit down so I've been standing all day!) and everything in between (my bum! my boobs! my stomach!) were killing me! I was also really upset at one point because they changed Avery's bed blanket, and one nurse got tho hold her and rock her while the other one changed them. I was so jealous that she got to hold my baby and I couldn't because of all of the tubes. And Avery seemed really happy to be held too. It was one of the few times all day that she seemed content. Ok I'm done complaining now, lol...sorry! I feel like a baby complaining when Avery is the one who is 5 days old and going through all of this.
We had to move rooms today too, so we lost our new neighbours, but I'm sure we'll see them still every day. We also lost our window seat! Anyway, we made some new friends in our new room, so it's ok. Near the end of the day though, something awesome happened. Avery opened her eyes! And she kept them open. Her eyes were moving back and forth, she was so interested in what was going on. My mom and I each held one of her hands, and she grasped our fingers so tight...she wouldn't even let go when the nurse had to do something. At first I didn't want to take a picture, because I was afraid that the flash would bug her and she'd close them, but I just had to! It didn't seem to bother her at all, and I posted the new 'eyes open' pictures for you all to see. All in all, it was a rough day, but I'm going to get some sleep tonight, and hopefully we'll both feel better in the morning. We need our rest for our big day on Friday.
move rooms no more window
21 marzo March 21, 2006Today was absolutely exhausting, but there really isn't too much new news. I got to the hospital today around noon, but they were doing sterile procedures in Avery's room, so I only saw her for 5 minutes before we got kicked out. I felt so horrible, because my friends Melisa and Mike were in Toronto and stopped by to meet Avery, but the nurses kept saying 20 more minutes, half an hour more, all day! So they never got to see her. I didn't even get back in the room until 4:30! That was hard. She's my daughter and I want to see her, but I can't. Also, she had her eyes open when we were first there, but they drugged her to put in a central line so she was too sleepy to move when we finally did get to see her again. Just before we left late tonight, she began opening her eyes again but we had to go home!
We had an amazing nurse today who was great about explaing everything to us. Avery is still on the conventional ventilator and tolerating it well! It looks scarier though, because before, her whole chest was just shaking. Now we can watch as she tries to do the work herself. It's so sad, her chest goes up and down and it looks like it's so hard for her. On the screen you can watch whenever she takes a breath. If there is purple it means she did that part of the breath on her own, and green means the machine did it for her. We got so excited everytime we saw purple! But she looks like she's just working too hard for a 4 day old!
We met another couple today, they are really nice. Their daughter is 3 weeks old and she is across from Avery, so we have seen them in the room, but didn't feel comfortable asking why their daughter was there. But it turns out she has CDH too! It's very weird that she is there at the same time as Avery. It turns out that hers is right-sided, which is very rare, but she was doing awesome at birth. She had her repair surgery after 24 hours. But a week after her surgery she took a turn for the worse, and had to be put on ECMO. That was huge especially since they rarely use that in Canada. It scared me so much to see her like that. ECMO is a heart lung bypass and there were so many small wires coming out of her neck, it was so sad! So she is really fighting, and we are praying that our new roomates bring home a healthy baby soon.
Avery had to be put on heparin, a blood thinner to prevent clots today. Other than that though, she had a really good day. They are stopping her dopamine now, her nitric oxide is gone, and they are taking out her umbilical artery tubes. They are thinking about Thursday for her surgery now. I am so scared though after hearing about our roomate's daughter. If Avery remains stable throughout the night, then they may even do surgery tomorrow afternoon. I am hoping they wait until Thursday though, so I can be more prepared. I'm sure I am missing something, my mind is so not here right now. I am still in a ton of pain too...so I think I'll go pop some more Tylenol and go to bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be a long day again!
Going Forward - March 21, 06I feel like there is such an overload of information all of the time and that I have to update twice a day or I'll forget everything, lol. Last night when we went back to the hospital, they told us that Avery had a little setback. Basically she had a fit and all of her stats dropped. They had to suction her a bit but everything is ok now. As happy as I am that I just got the instant replay of that rather than watching it, the hardest thing is knowing that I can't be there every second. I feel awful that I wasn't there for her then and it's scary to know that things can change so quickly.
But on a better note, we then took 2 steps forward. Of the three things that have to happen before they start talking surgery, Avery accomplished two yesterday! Her echocardiogram came back completely normal, so they took her off of the medication that was keeping that duct open. While we were there, they decided to try and take her off of the high frequency oscillator and put her onto the conventional ventilator. That was scary, because they had to unhook her breathing tubes in order to switch the machine, so they were manually bagging her while they did it. It seemed so primitive, but obviously the respitory therapists know what they're doing. Once she was put on it, they said that they would need to wait an hour, take blood and send away for her blood gases to see how she tolerated the switch. When I called back later on that night, they had the first set of gases back and said that there were a few fluctuations, but that they did some tweaking of numbers, sent away another set of blood and were anticipating good results from it. This morning I was told that the tweaking worked! She seems to be tolerating the conventional ventilator very well!
Avery's blood pressure and temperature were off during the night last night, but seem ok again this morning. They have also reduced her nitric oxide from 10 when she was born, to 5 yesterday, to 2 this morning. Getting her to 0 is the last step before talking surgery. They want to go slowly, but hopefully in the next couple of days she will be off of that as well. They also started giving her the IV nutrients last night, so she is probably happy about that! This morning they told me that she is peeing up a sorm and that her kidney function is excellent.
I also just want to thank everyone again. Especially Aunt Irma and Aunt Vera...Aunt Irma your message made me cry! Meghan, I understand your fear, but the epidural is easy. Cats are nice, but babies are amazing! Marilyn, your spelling was fine and Steve was a miracle that gives me hope. I can't wait to bring Avery home to introduce her to everyone. Good luck at your appointment tomorrow Catherine, let me know how it goes. It won't be too long now! And good luck today Kimberly with the trial off. I hope everything goes well this time! I'm sure I'll have to add more tonight.
20 marzo A Health Update - March 20, 2006Today Avery was completely off the muscle relaxers. This was great because she was a little bit more awake. She opened her eyes a couple of times, and when we touched her feet she moved them. She was making lots of bubbles again too. It was really sad though, because her face keep scrunching all up like she wanted to cry. The nurse said it is probably because she feels hungry. I guess with CDH because the stomach is in the chest, they don't like to feed the babies right away. She is only getting a sugar water right now. Tonight they are going to start giving her IV nutrients. After her surgery is when they will start giving her the breast milk through her tubes. I feel so bad for her, because if she's anything like me, she must just be starving by now!
There are many things that have to happen before Avery has her surgery. They are slowly trying to wean her off of most of her medications. She is still on morphine. She is on dopamine and prostaglandin...I can't remember which one is for her blood pressure. Her blood pressure has been low but they said that it came back up a bit. However, when we were there today it fell below 40 again. I guess the number of weeks gestation that the baby is should be what the blood pressure averages. Since she was 40 weeks, 5 days at birth, then her blood pressure should be above 40. It was between 35 and 39 which wasn't horrible. Her O2 levels were at 100% whcih was great. Anything over 85 is good we were told, of course she is obviously not doing that on her own. She is still on the high frequency oscillator ventilation, although they lowered the level of ventilation that she is receiving and she is reacting well to it so far. Before surgery, she has to get off of that ventilator and onto the conventional one.
Avery had a repeat echocardiogram today, which they were waiting for the results of when we were there. We had to leave for dinner, but are going back really soon to find out the results of it. They want to make sure that her right ventricle is not working too hard. It is working harder than normal because her lungs are so small and it is pushing the blood trying to expand them. If they find out that it is working too hard then they will have to keep her on this one medication, to keep open a duct where the extra blood can flow. Ideally, we want them to stop this medication and close the duct so that she can have her surgery. In a normal baby the duct closes at birth. The third major thing that has to happen before surgery is to get her off of nitric oxide which is helping to stretch her lungs. I wanted to put her new hat on her today too, but her temperature has been up a little bit so they said not to today.
After her surgery, the doctors said she will be like a whole new baby and we will have to start over. They just need to get in there so that they can see what they are working with. We still don't know much about the size and function of her lungs, and we won't know it until after the surgery.
Well we are heading back to the hospital now, so I will write again tomorrow!
This is a Long One - March 20, 2006Hi Everyone,
Thanks for waiting patiently for an update. This is going to be a long entry, so I apologize in advance, lol. Anyone who wants the extreme graphic details can ask me later, lol...I'm always willing to share. So from the beginning, here we go...
Once Avery made up her mind that it was time to come, she really wanted out! I was supposed to be induced at 10:00am Friday morning but since I was only 1cm dialated still they decided to put this gel on my cervix around 1pm and check if it had thinned out in 12 hours. So they weren't even going to induce me until 1am Saturday morning. After that, labour could have taken another 12 to 15 hours, so I wasn't expecting my baby until late Saturday afternoon at least. But after the gel got put on and they moved me to the postpartum wing to wait (since I wasn't in labour) I started getting HORRIBLE contractions...one after another with absolutely NO time inbetween! That was about 5:45pm. By 6:30, my mom went to get the nurse because I was sure I was dying. I have never, ever, ever experienced anything so painful! Sorry to scare those of you who haven't done it yet...just get the drugs ASAP would be my advice. It's got to be bearable if you do that.
They quickly moved me back to labour and delivery. Apparently I skipped active labour and went right into transition, lol...but I've never done this before and had no idea what it was supposed to feel like and just thought I would die! My sister and Uncle Ron were outside the door at one point and said I didn't even sound human I was screaming so loud, lol. I asked (screamed, begged, whatever) for an epidural thinking I was only about 3cm or so. My water broke on it's own as soon as I got back in the room, and then the epidural was put in. That, I promise, doesn't hurt one bit. You don't even feel it. They couldn't figure out why it wasn't working and kept telling me just to calm down, but when they finally checked, they realized I was already 10cm and ready to push! So that's why it took so long to kick in. But when it finally did, I was in heaven! If I had had the epidural right away I think it would have been ok...the pushing wasn't bad at all! Tons of pressure, and hard work, but no pain.
When it was time to push, Avery's heart rate went way up so they had to get her out fast. She was also transverse (sideways) so they used forceps to turn and hold her as I pushed but she didn't have a mark on her. I must have pushed for only 15 minutes or so. When she came out, she was perfect! I watched her head come out and everything. So did my mom! She was amazing, right in there! Avery arched her back and opened her mouth really wide, trying to cry and clenched her fists together...and then they took her quickly to the resescitation room. As they stitched me up I watched through the window as a team of about 15 doctors all worked on my tiny baby.
Almost everyone I dealt with the entire day, including the doctor that delivered Avery and the head of the recess team, were young women. The doctor who delivered her had even had a baby of her own 6 months earlier. Talking to these women, and the way that they talked to me and called me Mommy and encouraged me all throughout, really made me feel like I was having a normal birth. They didn't make anything seem too medical, they made me feel comfortable and safe and I knew that they were so competent to take care of Avery. I really credit them a lot.
I was able to be wheeled in to see Avery before she was tranferred to Sick Kids. She was so beautiful...she has my lips for sure! Everyone in the Ziebart family is born with those lips, no exceptions, lol...I knew she was mine! The doctors told me that she had a 'rough start' but that she was doing everything that they expected a baby in her position to do. It took 2 and a half hours before she was stable enough to be transferred to Sick Kids, but she got there! She's alive!
My dad arrived on the train just 25 minutes before Avery was born! The train station is pretty close to the hospital, but too far to walk. My dad got kicked out of 2 taxi's before someone would take him because it was too short of a fare I guess. Lol, he got in the third taxi and was like "My daughter is having a baby RIGHT NOW! I'll give you twice what this costs if you just take me to the damn hospital!!" So needless to say, he made it in time, haha. And I was the happiest! I'm so glad he could come and meet Avery.
Of course they told us we have a long road ahead of us, but for now she seems to be doing ok. No ECMO...I guess they don't use it too much in Canada, although it was mentioned as a last resort if things start to go poorly. Last night they were weaning her off of the muscle relaxers a bit, so she opened one eye!! And she moved her little hands and feet and she was sucking so hard with her lips. It was so cute, all the spit bubbles coming out of her mouth! Her colour looked better too.
There are pictures up now, and I'm sure every day we'll have more. You can't see, but the back and sides of her hair is longer and curly. We're hoping she has the luck of the Irish with her since she was born on St. Patrick's Day and surrounded by the lucky number 7 (10:17pm on March 17th on the 7th floor.)
I just got home from the hospital last night. I am in a ton of pain right now (double episiotomy does not equal easy walking) but compared to Friday night, this is nothing! Pumping is no fun either, lol...but for the first time in my life my boobs are huge! Nevermind what I said about asking for graphic details later, lol...looks like I already gave them all to you! Sorry!
Anyway, it's amazing how much you can love someone you just met. She looks so helpless hooked up to all of her tubes, but at the same time I don't even see them. She looks healthy and it seems so wrong that she can't come home with me. But I know she will one day. She is definately tough. Thanks to everyone for all of the calls, emails, comments, cards and flowers. You are all amazing. Please keep praying for Catherine and Jenn, the two expectant mommies left! Catherine's been so amazing to update everyone on me when she's been feeling sick all week herself. Kimberly's son Jackson had a very rough couple of days and went downhill, but he seems to be doing better now, which is encouraging. So please keep him in your thoughts too. I'm off to the hospital now (but first to Walmart to develop some pics!) so I will talk to you all soon. Thanks again to everyone!
18 marzo Happy Birthday Avery!! - March 17, 2006I am very excited to announce the arrival of our precious angel Avery Mae!! She arrived on March 17th at 10:17 pm weighing 6 pounds and 14 ounces. She is absolutely beautiful, she has quite a bit of blonde hair and they were right, she really does have long legs, and long feet too! Lauren was able to visit with her and take some pictures which i will hopefully be uploading sometime today. Avery was stabilized and transferred to the Hospital for Sick Children last night. Thank you all so much for your prayers and good thoughts. I will be sure to keep you posted.
Auntie Kristin 17 marzo Will Today Be Avery's Birthday? - March 17, 2006Just a quick note before I leave. We've been told that there is room for Avery available now at Sick Kids. So I am headed back to the hospital right now so that they can start the Pitocin. I had contractions all night long, so hopefully Avery is ready to come! Well, they told us to get there ASAP so that no one gets our bed, so I'm off! Wish me luck!!
16 marzo Sent Home From the Hospital! - March 16, 2006Surprised to hear from me so soon? I'm surprised to be writing! After getting up at 5:30am (and totally psyching myself up for this all night!) I arrived at the hospital at 7:30. Again, nothing was faxed that was supposed to have been. This really bothered me because it's not like I just went into labour, I had a scheduled induction! It has been planned for 3 days, so you would think that my records would be at the hospital by then. Even if my labour was not planned, I was overdue, so I would have imagined that they would have my information on file by now. But I guess not! Then they couldn't start the Pitocin until they heard from Sick Kids, which took until about 9:45. When they heard back from Sick Kids, we were told that there were no beds available in their NICU! Since I was an elective induction, I could be cancelled. I guess emergencies do come up, which I understand.
If I happen to go into labour on my own, then I will become the emergency and they will find a bed for Avery. However, I don't think I'll be going into labour anytime today. I am having irregular contractions now. When I was at the hospital and hooked up to the fetal monitor they were coming every 10 minutes, which I guess is still very far apart. I finally figured out that contractions really are what I've been feeling, lol...when you have the picture on the screen in front of you it's easier to tell! But since I've been home, they have slowed down to about every half hour to 45 minutes, so she's not going anywhere yet. Sandra, my doula said that they have probably slowed down a bit since I am not so stressed anymore. I have a feeling that it will still be a couple of days until Avery is born, but I guess every day she is inside me is a day that I know she is safe. I was told to call back tomorrow to see if anything is available, so we'll see!
I wanted to post my horoscope that my Nana just read to me from Florida. It was in their paper today and I just thought it was so strange how right it is! I am a Taurus (May 19, 1981) and here it is:
Anticipation can be agonizing. You want that future date in your mind to be now. Try to remember that it's the present moment you can treasure and fold into your life.
So I guess that is the end of my news for today. It was pretty funny when I called Carolyn (who was expecting a phone call after Avery was born to start the phone tree) and told her that it was quick and easy! Lol, she was a bit surprised to hear from me! I will update again tomorrow after I speak to the nurse at the hospital to see if we can try this again!
15 marzo Tomorrow's the Day! - March 15, 2006Well this is just going to be a quick one today, and it will be my last entry before I am a Mom! I leave here tomorrow morning at about 6:45am to be induced. So at some point tomorrow Avery will be with us! Here is what I know about the hospital information so far:
Mount Sinai Hospital
600 University Avenue
Toronto, ON, Canada
M5G 1X5
416-596-4200
As soon as I find out my direct phone number and room number at the hospital, I will have my sister post it for me, so check tomorrow to see if she's updated the site yet. I am crazy nervous now...especially since I had brutal contractions on Monday night! They went away, but it makes me wonder about what is to come. But I am so super excited at the same time, it is unbelievable! I can't wait to meet Avery!!
Thanks to all of my friends for wanting to come up this weekend. I really wish I could see you all, but right now we just have to get Avery stable enough to have her surgery. I can't wait for her to meet all of you, too! I don't think she knows how many people want to see her, or she would have hurried up a bit more. I don't think she wants to come out yet!
Once I have pictures of Avery (which I will have hopefully by Friday!) you can view those on the photo album. Just click on the little upside down triangle next to photo album and you can view the different albums of pictures that I have posted. If you want to read a description of what you are looking at, just click 'description' which is underneath the pictures. You guys can add comments on here, too. Under each entry there is a spot for you to add a comment or to read the ones that other people left.
Kimberly had some awesome news about baby Jackson today. They are doing a trial run off ECMO, so let's keep our fingers crossed that everything goes well for them. He is doing great already! And in other awesome news...my dad is coming to Toronto tomorrow! I am ecstatic about that. I knew he wouldn't let me down! I can't wait to see him since it has been just about a month now.
So wish me luck! I will hopefully have nothing but good news soon!
13 marzo Overdue - March 13, 2006Today I am 40 weeks and 1 day! I put a final 40 weeks pregnant picture in the picture album. Final weight tally at the doctors was 48 pounds! I just missed the 50 so take that, Jenny McCarthy! I didn't gain anything since last week so that's good. The doctors didn't weigh Avery today but said she has most likely gained about a 1/3 of a pound since last week which would be around 7.6. Her amniotic fluid was normal and so was my blood pressure. They did see that she's really squished in there though, and that although it's still working well my placenta is getting 'old'...sounds really nice! She was moving around so much trying to escape during the ultrasound and she was making breathing motions like crazy, which is really good to see!
So after the most painful exam of my life (I am not kidding, it really, really sucked!) or sweeping my membranes as they called it, we found out a few things. I am 1cm dialated, although I swear I was not at the beginning of that exam and the doctor just created it! Normally, the doctors said they will let you go past 41 weeks before they start talking about induction, and they have told us many times that they don't really want to induce because of the added risk of having a c-section. But because of our situation and the fact that they want to make sure everyone is there from the teams of doctors who are supposed to be there when Avery is born, they want to make sure that she is not born on the weekend. I'm sure the doctors would be there or could be called in...like my Doula Sandra said, it's not like they all go skiing on the weekends...so this may just be the convenient option for them, and maybe for us because we wouldn't have to be scrambling to get to the hospital in the middle of the night. Anyway, if I don't go into labour on my own within the next 2 days, I am scheduled to be induced at 7:30am on Thursday, March 16th! So that could be Avery's birthday! Or maybe St. Patrick's Day which is Friday, March 17th if this turns out to be a really long process...which I hope it doesn't, lol! I've heard though, that being induced makes for a much longer and more painful labour, so maybe something will happen before then.
In other news, baby Jackson seems to be doing well by the updates on Kimberly's site. So keep praying for him and for all of the other CDH babies. It gives me so much hope to see him doing so well so far, although we know that every day can bring something new. Catherine is still hanging out...I think she'll deliver sooner rather than later, though! And thanks to Jenn for helping me set up this new, pretty website to replace the old one. I think I drove her nuts yesterday! Also, happy birthday Meghan G! I guess you don't have to share your birthday with Avery either!
Well, if I go into labour in the next couple of days, then I guess I won't update my site again for a few days at least. But if not, then I'll write Wednesday night before I go in on Thursday. It may very well be the 16th that Avery is born since that's what Lynn guessed and she wins absolutely every contest she ever enters! Whether the prize be a Happy Meal or a new car! So wish me luck, guys! I wasn't even nervous for the labour part until after that exam today...now I'm scared to death! I'll talk to you soon!
12 marzo It's My Due Date - March 12, 2006Today is my due date and no Avery yet! I think she knows how safe and sound she is inside me and she doesn't want to come out. I had 40 people guess about her birthday and so far 30 of you are losing out on that Happy Meal prize, lol! Only 10 people guessed today and after. Maybe she'll be a St. Patrick's Day baby, but I don't want to wait that long...I want to meet my daughter! But it is somebody's birthday today. Happy 25th birthday, Katie! Looks like you won't have to share it after all!
This week we had a couple more visitors. Our friend Lynn came to Toronto, to watch her son Blake's diving competition. It was really fun to go to. He's only 12, but it's amazing how they dive! I'd be scared to death. While we were there I met a really nice lady with twin boys who were 2 months old (born on 2 different days, weird, eh?) and she let me hold and feed one of them. He didn't feel heavy at the time, but man did my arm hurt after! Anyway, my sister came for the weekend too. When my mom and I went to the train station to pick her up, it was like a scene out of the Amazing Race where they're running through the airports and the room is spinning! It was insane the amount of people in there. I was literally blinded by them as they all ran by in every direction seeming to know exactly where they were going. Wow...it's indescribable actually. I don't know if I could do that every day!
I tried Jenn's trick on Friday night. My mom, Lynn, Kristin and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. Jenn told me that for both of her sons she went into labour after eating a lobster dinner. It didn't work though, lol! I really wish it had. I haven't left the house in 2 days because I have no clothes that fit me anymore. I honestly feel like in the last couple of days I have just exploded everywhere and there is no room left! I hope Avery gets here soon. Well I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow morning so we'll see what he says then! Check back tomorrow to see if we have a baby yet!
Baby Jackson Update - March 8, 2006I just wanted to send an update that Kimberly who I email from Texas, has delivered her baby Jackson on Sunday, March 5th, 2006. He was stable overnight, went on ECMO Monday morning and has been stable since then. There are some pictures of him on her website http://babyjdb.blogspot.com if any of you want to check it out. He really is so cute! I think he's going to do great, he looks really strong! Kimberly, we're thinking of you everyday. All the best! Jenn (my other internet friend) is starting to feel the pressure even more now too, as she only has 8 weeks left and has been chasing around her two young sons too! Don't worry about your attitude Jenn, lol...I understand. Catherine, who I've been so blessed to meet is another mother due in April from San Antonio. Her and I are the same age and are in very similar situations with our pregnancies and lives. We have talked on the phone a few times and it has been helping so much to have someone to go through this with. So please send your thoughts out to her too. We guess her daughter Sophia will be born early so soon we'll all have hospital stories instead of pregnancies stories! Even though I know Avery's safe right now I can't wait to meet her and see what a fighter she'll be! More news coming when ever anything happens (and that could be any day now!)
3rd Doctor's Appointment - March 6, 2006My mom is here! She arrived today! Before you start reading, I'm warning you it's a long one, so I apologize in advance, lol.
Well I was hoping for more today, but here's what I found out. With only 6 days to go until my due date, I am not dialated at all, and nothing's happening. Dr. Ryan said it's going to be a while still. He said he'll let me go a week or 2 overdue and that we're not in any rush. He doesn't want to induce if they don't have to because it will increase the chance of having a c-section and he really wants me to deliver vaginally to squeeze out the amniotic fluid from her lungs. He says she's doing great right now, and unless she shows signs that she's not ok, then there's no reason to speed anything up. The only thing scaring me now is that she weighed 7.0 pounds today which we know is less than she really weighs. Dr. Ryan made a joke about me having an 11 pound baby which really wasn't that funny, lol! I hope I don't go too much longer since I am really, really ready to meet my baby! I also can't seem to stop gaining weight and although I feel a bit skinnier this week, I've gained another 4 pounds bringing that total up to 48! My blood pressure was normal and so was Avery's amniotic fluid. So I made another appointment for next Monday, which is one day past my due date, and Dr. Ryan said that depending on how things look then, I may have another appointment the following Monday too! I hope not!
I read a really encouraging article today about a baby born in September 2005 at Mount Sinai with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. After 4 hours she was stabalized and moved to Sick Kids and had surgery only 2 days after birth. She was only there for a total of a month and a half and is doing well now. So that's good. I keep thinking about my friend Kimberly who was due yesterday. I haven't heard from her yet, but I know that they are inducing her tomorrow if she doesn't deliver by then. So good luck Kimberly! I talked to Catherine and Sheri and we're all thinking about you and Jackson!
What my week was like. Well Rebecca was here the whole week which was awesome. Christine P. came on Tuesday so we did the whole mall, IKEA thing. I'm getting too heavy though to lug myself around comfortably. Thursday I went to Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding clinic. The MapQuest directions were pretty exact until the end. Thursday was so frustrating I wanted to cry! I got lost on the way, then when I went to leave, I got locked in a stairwell, climbed 3 flights but every door was locked, so eventually I tried the fire exit and and the alarm went off and the security guard had to come and rescue me! I was so embarassed! But I lived. Then I went to the mall, got lost again, got my nails done and tried to get home and got lost again! Anyway, Thursday's over and Friday was much better. My girlfriends were here all weekend, Katie, Christine and Lauren. We went and met Anita downtown for lunch at this awesome restaurant and I got to meet her fiance David for the first time. He was awesome and held his own very well being at a table with so many girls! It was so awesome to see my girlfriends, but sad to see them go. Next time I see them again, I'm going to have a baby! We went swimming at their hotel which was so fun! But they laughed and said that ever since I became pregnant, they did too, since the next thing you know, we're all taking a nap on a Saturday night! We watched a couple of chick flicks and I bought 3 really cute hats for Avery since that's all she'll be able to wear for a while. So now that the waiting game is on, it's just me and my mom here. Aunt Shari is leaving Friday with Matt and Sara for Florida.
I put some new pictures up. There are some of the crafts that we made for the baby and there are a couple from when the girls came to visit on the weekend. I really like the one in my Hugh Hefner outfit by the fireplace. It was fitting because Matthew keeps saying that with all the girls around all the time, he feels like he's been living in the Playboy Mansion! I said 'yeah maybe if you weren't living there with your pregnant cousin!' Lol. I also have a couple of me in a bikini from when we went swimming in the hotel pool, but I am so not brave enough to post those. Although wearing it was not as traumatizing as I thought it would be!
So I won't make this too much longer, I just wanted to say thanks again for thinking of us and for all the amazing comments that you guys have posted for me and Avery and our family. We really appreciate it and it's so wonderful to know you're all there with us. Love you all and talk to you again soon.
2nd Doctor's Appointment - Feb. 28, 2006I wish I had more news today from my doctor's appointment yesterday, but not too much is new. I didn't get weighed, and they didn't take the baby's weight either. They did another ultrasound and tried to get another lung to head ratio, but then they couldn't even tell if they were seeing lung or not so they gave up! Oh well, I know an ultrasound result is less reliable than the MRI results (which gave us 3 different readings) so I guess this would have just been another number to add to the collection that mean nothing to us yet. I did get to find out my blood pressure which was normal, and Avery's amniotic fluid volume was in the normal range too, although it was on the high side. Rebecca came with me this week and said next week I should just call and say 'yeah she's still moving, I'm not coming in this week,' lol, instead of spending $16 on parking and 2 hours waiting to find out nothing! Lol, I love Toronto prices! But really, I hope next week I will know more. They are going to do an internal next Monday to see if I've dialated at all (fun, but I guess I should get used to it) and then we'll see what happens from there. Avery was moving like a maniac yesterday all day long, and I've been having a lot more of the Braxton Hicks contractions too. The doctor said that is what they are and that I should be having them by now anyway. There are only 12 days left until my due date!
Overall, yesterday was great, but so tiring. Lol, I'm not used to getting out of the house so much and now that Rebecca's here, we have things to do! We went to Oakville yesterday morning to visit her before the appointment to visit her cousin and her new baby cousin who was 3 days old! She was actually due the week before me, but when she went to the doctor they told her to head straight to the hospital and the baby came 3 hours later! She was sooo cute...and she didn't look that scary at all! She was so content and her hands and feet were so cute and she was so soft! But as soon as she started crying I gave her back to her mom. Hey, I have 12 days left still! Her cousin also showed me this cool picture frame craft that they have hanging in their older daughter's room that Becky and I are going to attempt to make tonight. We'll see how that goes, you guys know how crafty I am.
After dinner Aunt Shari, Sara, Becky and I went to one of those NYC purse shows where they sell knock offs of the real thing. They had purses, sunglasses, shoes, clothes and jewelry, so it was really fun to look at. I didn't buy anything, but obviously Aunt Shari bought a ton! She's such an inspiration! So by the time we got home I was so pooped all I could do was lay on the couch and watch the finale of the Bachelor...and can I just say how happy I am that Travis picked Sarah instead of Moana! Ok, a little off topic here!
So today Christine P should be arriving at some point. Rebecca's behind me right now...she just finished running on the treadmill and doing sit ups and is now doing leg raises...OMG she is too motivated...it's 9am! But soon we'll be leaving to go to the mall and IKEA!! So I better get going.
My Doula - Feb. 24, 2006My doula Sandra Owens came today to visit me. It was our first meeting and I love her! I am so happy that we decided to go with a doula. There is so much more to know about this natural process than I ever thought was possible. Especially being in this situation and in a different city and hospital, and being a first time mom...I'm just really happy to have someone be able to help me through it. I wondered what we would have to discuss for 2 hours, but it literally flew by. There is so much more that I could have talked to her about. She could have stayed all day! I asked her about these feelings that I've been having in my stomach yesterday and today mostly. I wasn't sure if it was the baby moving in her tight quarters or if it was the Braxton Hicks contractions since I have no idea what those feel like. And it doesn't feel like when Avery normall moves. It kind of hurts a bit more. She said that by what I was describing it was most likely the Braxton Hicks contractions. But you can have those all along and not feel them, so don't worry, nothing's happening yet! Later, when she felt my belly, she could feel Avery in there!
For the rest of the morning I am just doing laundry. I spent some of the morning cleaning up the dog's mess. He got into the garbage and dragged it around the whole basement. I can't wait until Sunday when Rebecca comes to visit. I think time will start flying by then. She will be here for a week, Christine P. wants to come up on Tuesday or Wednesday, Anita and I may go for lunch on Friday because she'll be in TO for the day and Christine L. and Burton want to come up next weekend. I hope Aunt Shari likes company, lol! But I know she loves all of you guys!
Yesterday Aunt Clare came over and spent the day with me since Aunt Shari was in Calgary on business. I was supposed to be all alone, but it was a full house here. Matt had like 5 friends over after school, Sara was home because of her sprained ankle, Uncle Ron came over, Barbara the cleaning lady was here, Yvonne the nanny and of course, Aunt Clare and I. She made an amazing dinner. Mama thinks I'm being spoiled here. It's really nice though, because pretty soon I'm going to be someone else's servant...little miss Avery...which is ok with me. I can't wait to do it!
I think I should be more nervous than I am right now. I can't help being really, really excited and maybe unrealistically only looking forward to the good things. But all we can do is really be positive right now. I'll have more info again on Monday after my appointment. Keep Jenn and Kimberly and now Catherine, another first time mom I met expecting Sophia with CDH soon, in your thoughts, too!
My First Appointment - Feb. 20, 2006So I had my first appointment in Toronto today. Aside from the expected unorganization (things not being faxed that were supposed to be, blah, blah) it went pretty well. I've gained 44 pounds now!
I couldn't get a new ultrasound picture because Avery wasn't cooperating. She had her hand right up covering her face so we couldn't see it at all. Oh well, I go back next Monday and she has more pictures from before she is born than any other baby I know.
From the doctor's calculations she weighs 5 pounds, 13 oz. today, although like they've said before, she most likely weighs more than that. That's because they take the weight from measurements of her head, leg and abdomen. Since Avery has the hernia, everything that is supposed to be in her abdomen has moved up into her chest, resulting in her stomach measuring smaller than it really is. Again we were told that she has long legs. They measured at 39 weeks and I am only 37 weeks and 1 day. Her head measured 35 weeks. That was ok to hear, lol...since a smaller head will hopefully mean less pain! That big lump that I keep thinking is her bum sticking out is actually a knee, I found out today.
I was given a lot more instruction today on what to do when I actually go into labour, which made me feel much more comfortable. Also, my mom and I got a tour of the Critical Care Unit at Sick Kids where she might go instead of the NICU depending on the availability of beds. They had a baby being transferred into their unit from Mount Sinai while we were there and another newborn baby in the room that we were looking at too. She was sooo cute! In the critical care unit, the babies are usually in beds instead of incubators if they can regulate their temperatures on their own. Since Avery will be a full term baby, she should be able to do that. That means we'll be able to touch her and not just through a little hole in a box! I found out that it's ok if I put a little hat or bow on her head, or socks on her, or a stuffed animal or blanket in the bed with her. I didn't know if I'd be able to do that since some hospitals are different so I only brought a couple of things for her, but I'm glad I did.
About visitors and stuff, it sounds like they kind of discourage them. They said they really only like family, mostly parents and grandparents. They are really concerned about the germs around the sick kids. But we'll have to see. I don't want to piss anyone off, but more importantly, I don't want to make anyone sick.
Aunt Shari is making me feel super comfortable here and her cooking is absolutely amazing! But it has been an emotional last couple of days. Those first trimester mental problems are coming back! It may be pathetic but I miss my cats sooo much! When we were driving in I realized that this is where I'm going to be for a long time...the longest I've ever been away from home, even when I didn't live at home. I won't see my dad until after the baby is born, and my mom left today and won't be back until things start 'moving along.' Toronto driving is insane, lol...but I'll have to get used to that. I think I'm doing a good job. When I dropped my mom off at the train station today I busted into the Taxi Only lane and got honked at like crazy, but it didn't phase me! I'm tough! And I know Avery is tough too, so hopefully everything will be ok.
So there's my enormous update for today...lol. Sorry if your eyes are tired. Keep praying for us, we appreciate it so much. I really hope to see you all soon and to talk to you even sooner!
Thanks - Feb. 17, 2006I just want to write a quick thank you to my friends and coworkers for all of their support. Like I've said before, I am so lucky to have you all in my life and I truly appreciate all that you have done for us. Please know that it means everything to me to know that I have such amazing people that I can count on in my life.
Also, Kimberly (expecting Jackson very soon, a CDH baby) and Jenn (expecting CDH baby Audrey in May) I'm thinking about you and wishing you the best. Thanks to Sheri for introducing us and for all of the information, help and guidence that she's given me over the last few months. Her son Jaxtyn is proof that miracles do happen!
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